As a child, my parents owned the house right next door to ours and rented it out. We had different neighbors every couple of years it seemed. When I was around six years old, a family moved in that, like ours, had only daughters. They had two young girls, and one was five years old; a perfect playmate for me. We got along well and my sister and I spent hours with them; they in our house, us in theirs. We explored the ravine behind our houses and ran through sprinklers. We created parades up and down the sidewalk on our bikes while playing recorders or a handmade drum or just simply singing and yelling while our mothers looked on. We danced together in the rain of the summer and embraced each day with open arms and hearts.
Their mother, Fran, was an interesting and influential part of my early life. Fran was not like my mother. My mother was very sweet and was a terrific mom, but she was not like Fran. At Fran’s house we learned about a completely different way of living. First of all, she listened to music, loudly, while she cleaned or cooked or played with us. I remember thinking how cool it was to listen to Steve Miller’s “Fly Like an Eagle” because my parents didn’t listen to a lot of music. Fran had a very bohemian lifestyle compared to my conservative parents.
She was a strict vegetarian and exposed my sister and I to her diet in a laid back and fun way. She made her own applesauce out of freshly picked apples that we helped to peel. She fed us lunches of fruits, vegetables and vegelinks – the vegetarian hotdog. Fran also would sit with us in the backyard and taught us how to make necklaces out of clover and other flowers. She was an active Hindu and she taught us how to meditate, how to be calm and breathe and then look for our spiritual inner eye. I spent such wonderful moments in her meditation room; at her shrine with the scent of spicy incense wafting through the warm room. It was so powerful that 34 years later, I remember it like it was yesterday. At that time in my life, I loved being with Fran, she was like another mother for me.
Though the mediation was powerful for me, another defining experience with Fran and her daughters stays with me to this day. On clear, warm summer nights, Fran would gather all of us girls around her, like our own personal Mother Earth and say, “Grab a blanket, it is time for Moon Movies!”. We would all scamper in to our respective houses and grab a blanket and pillow to then head outside with our parents’ blessing and some snacks. There, Fran would be waiting for us and she would take us on a guided tour of the stars, moon and planets. We would start by simply counting the stars as they appeared in the darkening sky and then begin calling out the constellations of Orion’s belt or the big or little dipper. Fran would explain how they got their names and talk about the movement of the earth and how we’re all tied to it. I relished those moments with Fran, and took them with me into adulthood.
So many years later, I often recollect those times with Fran and I am struck by how many of her lessons I have shared with my own children. We stop outside and look up at the stars and I ask them to find Orion and they know just where he is. They look forward to our nights of star gazing, and will be happy to remind me that we are long overdue for those moments. And when my children are angry or sad, we do deep breathing to calm ourselves; the basics of meditation.
I smile when I look at my parents and my sister, knowing that I am – by a long shot – the most bohemian of all of them. As I have grown and matured, I have come to love that part of me, that connection to the earth and the moon and nature. I know that Fran and her simple teachings had a profound impact on me; one that I carry with me and give to my children. I thank her for that.
