In my life, I have the unfortunate situation that I know a hater, a true meanie. Now, this person - we'll call her Person X - is not a close friend of mine. She is someone that I only know through others. But she is mean and nasty. Every time, without exception, that I have been in her presence or heard about an exchange that someone else has had with her has been full of her venom. She never a nice thing to say about anyone; she is always the victim - everyone is a horrible person and she a saint among saints. She will tell how she's been ripped off, abused, taken advantage of, walked upon, etc. Yet it is she that claims income from two different ex-husbands, and has her bills paid by her current, this poor soul who never gets treated right. She rarely lifts a finger for herself but instead has her children running her household for her - cooking and cleaning. She'd cuss you out just to look at you. Person X is not someone that you'd want in your life.
Now, I'm lucky, I don't have to deal with her often nor be in her presence much but she is someone that I have known for the past decade and a half and will probably have to come across her through our mutual connections once or twice more in my life. And while I have no interest in being a close personal friend of Person X, I will say she has taught me something. Through her vile ugliness of a disposition, I have learned that hate and anger is a total waste of time and energy. You could match her hatefulness toe-to-toe, word for word and I guarantee you that she can out ugly you. It isn't pretty when you have to be in the presence of such a person; it is a drain on your life. I've seen her scars on people - the people that I know that have to deal with her much more regularly. They are beat down, worn out by her nastiness. All the while she's beating them with her sharp tongue, she's telling them it is their fault and not hers - that hers is the sorry lot in life. I have expressed to our common friends that they are not to blame and should not take on that burden of her meanness. There is no sense or purpose to her hatred - she hates everyone equally and is mean and nasty about it.
And so, she has taught me that it is far better to hold your tongue and say nothing when you have nothing but hatred to speak. It does only damage to be mean and nasty to people. I say, be kind - or be silent. Spewing hate and making people feel terrible serves no purpose here. If you seek only to hurt those around you, your life is empty and meaningless. I can say I am not and will not ever be this way; and for that I am so glad. My only wish is that I could help those she has hurt more than I can; I wish they did not have to deal with her at all, but it isn't within my control. All I can do is send out my loving prayers that they have peace in their lives, despite Person X and that they can one day realize that her hatred, while hurtful to them is a waste of time just the same. I hope one day they can be free of it and that I never have to lay eyes on Person X again.
