This
week, I attended the Celebration of Life for my Great-Aunt Gerri. As with all funerals, there is the normal
sadness that the person is no longer with us, this was no exception. We talked about how she loved to wear hats on
special occasions and at church, in fact the ladies in her large family were
wearing all 17 of her hats; three daughters, eight grand-daughters or
grand-daughters in-law and six great-grand-daughters. The minister talked about her great love of
family and God, talked about her devotion to her community, her entrepreneurial
spirit and her general love of life. She
was 90-years-old, so we truly celebrated a life well lived. But the most touching, the most poignant, the
most tear-jerking story was listening to the long descriptions of the love she
and my Great-Uncle Walker shared. They
were married 70 years, until 13 months ago, when he passed away at the age of
90 as well.
As
my husband and I sat and listened to Aunt Gerri’s eulogies, we were both struck
by the love story that was unveiled before us.
Through the words of Gerri and Walker’s daughters and grand-daughters,
we heard about their love for each other.
Married at the ages of 17 and 19, surviving service in WW2, raising and
loving three daughters, camping, fishing, helping the church, starting
businesses, selling homes, retiring, helping with grandchildren and great
grandchildren (including triplets!), travelling and finally, taking care of
each other in their senior years, finally losing a battle with Alzheimer’s. Then we watched the movie made out of old
pictures; pictures of high school sweethearts, newlyweds, young family, all the
way through their 80’s. As we watched
the pictures, we saw the love on their faces; we watched this beautiful life
they had lived.
I’ve
pondered their story ever since, I want to know their secret sauce, the recipe
for making such a beautiful life. I
think the messages are in the story itself; in the description of how they
struggled together, laughed together, worked side-by-side and really cherished
each other as friends and as husband and wife.
Today, their story would be tragic.
A 17 year old marrying a 19 year old?
That sounds absurd! But in 1941,
not so tragic; and right away, they
persevered. My uncle was drafted
for WW2 and served three years in the war.
By 1943, they had their first child; no easy task to raise a baby while
your husband is off at war. The stories
that were told about how they had little money and had to be creative to make
ends meet remind me of how we each have to start out together, scratching our
way through those first formative years of marriage. No matter the challenge, you have to rise to
meet it together. My Aunt Gerri was a
strong woman, she really ‘wore the pants’ in the family in some respects. That reminds me a lot of the descriptions I
hear about myself; so I really loved the touching parts about how, when my
Uncle Walker was in thick of his Alzheimer’s, long after he had been able to
reciprocate their deep love for each other on the outside, Aunt Gerri made sure
that he had a good meal, maintained his dignity and woke up next to her in the
morning.
When
I held my husband’s hand as we walked out of the funeral, we both had the same
thoughts that we shared with each other.
When our time is done, our hope is that the descriptions that were
shared at my Aunt’s funeral, are similar to those that are shared about
us. How do you build a great love
story? One day at a time; loving,
laughing, crying, enduring, appreciating, hugging and bonding; being constant,
being all that you can be for each other.
What a mighty goal for each of us!
I believe we’re on our way.
