Lest We Forget

This weekend in our little town of St. Joseph, Michigan, we have a really cool event happening.  The Lest We Forget (www.lestweforgetusa.org) organization is doing WWII re-enactments; including taking the beach along Lake Michigan.  My son, Jake, and I stopped by our regional airport to check out the campgrounds and we took a few pictures.  


I wasn't sure what to expect but honestly, it was like walking back in time in many ways.  I'm always trying to have a teaching moment with my kids and this was no exception.  I quizzed Jake on the name of the British Flag (the Union Jack) and we talked about the issues during WWII.  All the while, Jake was asking if the airport where the re-enactors, their tents, gear, guns, food, and vehicles including trucks, jeeps, planes and helicopters are parked, has Wi Fi access so he can play some games on his iPod touch.  I just shook my head and tried again; we saw the Allied Camp; US and Britain well represented there.  Across the way were the German and Japanese camps; Jake liked the story we heard about a little boy wandering in to the Japanese camp and having the soldiers there shoo him out for having gone into enemy territory.  


This event puts at the top of mind all the sacrifice and honor of our soldiers and veterans.  I am amazed at the camps that have been recreated with authentic WWII gear; I can't imagine living in such a small space for months or a year at a time; and yet thousands of soldiers have done this and sacrificed for centuries.  These men and women are truly incredible.  I have a grandfather (now deceased) who was a WWII Veteran.  He served at Iwo Jima; which they are re-enacting tomorrow.  Ron has two grandfathers (also now deceased) that were WWII Vets; we believe one was at the battle of Pearl Harbor.  My Dad was in the Marine Reserves during Vietnam and my father-in-law was in the Military Police at Leavenworth.   With that family history in mind, it makes seeing an event like this even more special.


I feel so blessed at being able to walk through such a great, living reminder of our soldiers.  I can't wait to see what we can do at tomorrow's events.  Thank you, Lest We Forget, for reminding us.

Allied Camp

Jake with one of the vintage motorcycles

WWII Jeep

US Camp

Jake was asking about WiFi at this point

One of the larger tents with cots.

Becoming a Step Mom

When I met and later married my husband, Ron, he came with a little extra gift.  That little gift's name is Rachel.  I met Rachel when she was just 2-1/2 years old.  She was just a little blond cutie, she smiled all the time and she was the apple of her Daddy's eye.  The very first time I met her, she was holding on to a kitty just as proud as she could be - the poor cat dangling from her chubby toddler hands.  She wanted to show her Dad what she was holding.  He nervously said, "Rachel, this is my friend Laura."  To which, she replied, "I caught this kitty," and then left the room.

Truth be told, I fell in love with Ron in part because I saw the kind of Dad he was to Rachel.  One of the early established 'rules' of our dating life was that I had to be willing to accept that he was a father and that Rachel came first.  I was fine with that - I appreciated that he so guarded his daughter.  As our relationship blossomed, I tried to interact with Rachel as a loving friend of her Dad's.  She was so young, there was no point in trying to explain our relationship to her - more important to just be a nurturing adult.  Rachel, from the start, was an openly loving little girl.  She hugged and cuddled and wanted to be around us all the time.

By the time we married two years later, we were a happy family unit.  Rachel was four years old when we got married.  I remember laboring over every detail of her involvement in the wedding.  She was a flower girl for us, we made sure to have a family picture of the three of us, I wanted her to have a special Daddy-Daughter dance but we decided it was too much for one wedding to do everything.  So instead, she danced with both of us and played with her cousins in her white flower girl dress and her hot pink tennis shoes.

Time, as it does, marched on and we brought first a sister and then a brother for Rachel.  By the time she was eight years old, she had two siblings with our family and another two on her mother's side. She was surrounded by younger children!

As I think back on those busy first few moments of dating, marriage, new step-parenting, babies, etc., I am struck by how many years have gone by!  Rachel is now 16, she is driving and she is a fully-fledged teen.  Our once warm relationship is cooler, partially by her age, partially by the physical distance between us - we live some 90 miles from her now but still try to see her every other weekend if she'll have us (remember - she's a teenager) and of course on school vacations and holidays.  But there is a coolness, too, fueled because I am her step-mom.  I think back on all the moments we've had with her and I miss so much of her when I think about how her as a child instead of the teen in front of me.

I remember going to pick Rachel up on her first day of Kindergarten.  We were so proud of her.  I took her picture at the school and I cried because she was so big.  We took her for ice cream to celebrate her accomplishment!  She was such a great kid, always helping with whatever was going on - always wanting to be with us.  I remember those times and held on to them because as time goes on, those opportunities get smaller and smaller.

I have always tried to treat her like my own child and I believe in my heart I've done that.  But that doesn't always cut it for a step-parent.  Step-parents (at least this step-parent) don't have the built in luxury of unconditional love from the child.  Rachel has always been more stand-off-ish with me as she has gotten older.  She's afraid of disappointing me, or upsetting me in some way (afraid, mainly, of a potential lecture if I am disappointed, I suppose), but what she doesn't realize is that even though she may not feel unconditional love for me, after all - I am not her Mom - I do love her unconditionally.  I have always loved her, which makes the teen distance all the more painful for this StepMom.  We don't see eye to eye on much these past few years, and it is hard for me.  I feel I don't have a say, don't want to impose my opinion although I find it very often choking the very air out of me to not speak up.  Particularly as she looks ahead to college, a subject I am afraid to broach with her because I have upset her so many times already.

I want so very much for my step-daughter.  I want her to know what success feels like, how wonderful life can be.  She has had a rough go in life, what with not having her parents together and then watching new children emerge from other relationships.  Having to get to know and understand new step-parents; watching a step-father go and another take his place. This has not been easy for her.  When she was little, she would creep closer to me, hoping for a hug, never asking.  I would often get frustrated with her quiet need, wanting her instead to just give me the hug.  I wish now I could go back in time and give her 100 hugs for every one I ever gave her.  I think what she needed was even more reassurance that I love her.  I try now to let her know through other ways that I love her.  I clean her room while she is gone, I encourage her to drive me around while she is here.  I get upset if we don't see her on our appointed visitation because I know that too soon, that will be gone.

Becoming a Step-Mom has been the most difficult thing I've ever done.  It is by far the most thankless of my roles, at least so far.  I don't know if I'm doing it right or wrong most days because I get just marked indifference at this point from our teen.  I just hope that when a few more years have passed we can look back on these years as something that eventually brought us closer.  Otherwise, I'll be just another one of the Wicked StepMothers for the fairy tales.  Only time will tell.

Appreciating our furry family members!

     Recently, I have been reminded of how important our furry friends are in our lives.  Yesterday, our cat, Rascal, was missing-in-action.  He lives most of his life outside in the warm months.  He claws at our curtains to remind us that he prefers the outdoors, he attacks us instead of the mice and chipmunks he stalks outside when we refuse to let him out.  Because we are constantly reminded that he prefers the outside to the in, we normally don't worry when he is gone for hours on end.  Until yesterday, when he hadn't been home for a full 24 hours.  I started noticing his absence in the morning, when he is usually my steady companion.  He wouldn't come when I called him, another oddity. I assumed that he was too busy to be bothered with me, although it was a nagging concern throughout the morning for me.
     By about 1:00pm I had reported his obvious absence to my husband, who helped me call for him- to no avail.  We hadn't told the kids we were worried but they came to their own conclusions and around 4:00pm they started canvassing the neighborhood, asking our neighbors if they had seen our little Rascal.  When they returned from their long search empty handed, they wanted to make Lost Cat signs.  We told both kids that it would all work out, but inside, we were both feeling very nervous that maybe our predator, outdoor cat had finally met his match.  
     After all, we live near a ravine that houses foxes and coyotes; it was very possible that he had met up with a faster, larger predator.  We started driving through our neighborhood calling for him, we drove to a nearby park that shares our ravine.  We came back to the house without him.  
     When we arrived home, after calling to him along the way home, we started all saying how much we missed him.  Just as we sat down for dinner, my husband yelled, "Cat!" and pointed at the sliding glass door. There he was, looking no worse for the wear.  To his surprise, he was scooped up almost immediately by both kids and myself.  The sheer joy was apparent on both kids faces, and I know my own as well.  
      Rascal was plunked right down for a full can of cat food; a rare treat.  He was brushed, held, cooed at and in all fashions - spoiled.  I think we all realized when he showed up at the door how much we love him; even though he spends a lot of time away from us.  He graced us with a rare indoor night and morning, enjoying all the special attention he continued to receive.  Both my husband and I took turns holding and petting him - another rare treat for him as we are usually as aloof as he is.  Lucky for us, we got to enjoy him; we didn't have a tragic ending as we were all afraid to have.  
     So for each of you that has a pet, or anyone thinking of getting one; for all the work and sometimes worry than can produce, these furry family members really add so much joy to our lives.  Give them an extra hug tonight!

Rascal on his way to a vet appointment.
Since he doesn't like to be kept inside, this is one of my favorite, "Get me out of here" pictures.

Encounters with Venus

Today, June 5, 2012, Venus will orbit between the Earth and the Sun.  This event takes place once every 105 years; the last time it occurred was 1907, the next time will be in 2117.  These events, and many others, tend to make me think about history – both personal and world history.  I do tend to look backward as much as I do forward and wonder about how things were before my time, and what will occur in my lifetime and after. 

In 1912, my oldest grandfather would be born – today he would be about to turn 100 years old.  When the Venus event occurred in 1907, his father, Irwin Miller; was 22 years old.  He was living in Chicago, ready to make his mark on the world.  I doubt that Irwin knew the Venus event even occurred; maybe there was a small write up in the Chicago Tribune but he was more than likely working or just not paying attention to such things as astronomy.  My family comes from working-class stock so I’m sure being a practical, meticulous young man, the son of German immigrants; that he was busy, head down, trying to make it through each day as he aspired to achieving the American Dream.

This celestial event has given me pause to think about Irwin Miller, my Great-Grandfather whom I had the pleasure of knowing, appreciating and loving for my first eleven years of life. I, of course, knew him as a 95 year old man, but here I am pondering his life at age 22.  What must his life have been when Venus last made her appearance?  I assume that he didn’t know about the Venus orbit between the Earth and the Sun but did he note the turn of the century that he witnessed at 15 years of age?  

Being born in 1885, he was surely aware of that event; he witnessed the birth of the 20^th century.  When I was a child and I thought about my great-Grandfather being born in 1885 I was amazed that someone could watch the world pass from one century to another.  What he must have seen and felt as the Great War was breaking out and he had two small sons at home!  He moved his family to where our family came to be ‘from’ sometime in the 1920’s; by then adding a daughter.  Irwin saw many things:  Moving from Chicago to St. Joseph, Michigan; World War 1, the Great Depression, the New Deal, World War II, the birth of grandchildren, the death of a grand-daughter after a long battle with leukemia, the Korean War, the death of his wife, my great-Grandmother, and so on and on.  Happy times, sad times alike - he saw the passing of one century to another.

I think about my great-Grandfather because it strikes me that not only do we have this once-every-105-years planetary event that makes me ponder what was happening in my roots 105 years ago but very nostalgically, I reminisce about the fact that I, too, have seen the turn of a century.  I saw a new century AND a new millennium dawn.  I laugh sometimes at the Y2K scare and I struggle sometimes to help my children understand the years that started in “19” instead of “20”.  I was married in the year of the new Millennium – Y2K itself.   

           My great-Grandfather lived through historic events; and so have I.  I was in 5^th grade when President Ronald Reagan was shot, I remember the fall of the Berlin Wall, I was watching live TV when the Space Shuttle Columbia exploded mid-air, I attended protests for Apartheid in college, wrote letters to the President about Desert Storm, watched as our soldiers went from peace to war in the early 1990’s, saw the dot-com bubble, I have a friend that was in the Twin Towers the day the planes crashed into them and I saw the turbulent years that followed.  We straddlers of these centuries, my great-grandfather and I , have much in common.

          All these thoughts – comparing what is happening today to what happened in the past – the parallels between the two are entertainment for my brain.  I put like against like as I think back in my family history and try to figure out what was going on 100 years ahead of my time.   

          I wonder what stories my children and their children will tell of their old grandmother that lived in the 20^th century and the 21^st century.  Surely they will be amazed of all the events that happen in my life, like I revel at what my great-grandfather must have seen.  It shows us, we small humans, how big our universe is when one minor event for Venus can envelope 105 years of our history at a time.  How much will happen before the next encounter with our friend Venus?